Avocados

Yet another sad/funny/true story, brought to you by the same people that invented beer milkshakes:

And so, I was speaking with Cristina recently (by which probably mean a month or so ago). She mentioned that despite the fact that it was JANUARY, it was blazing hot down there in southern California.

Me, being in Seattle, I was just a little bit jealous. After all, the average day here in January seems to be about 5 hours of daylight (if low-lying cloud cover can count as "daylight"), 39 degrees, and with a nice sideways drizzle. That way, the near-freezing rain has a much better chance of actually entering and going up into your nostrils.

She then mentioned to me that the avocados were in season. I believe the sentence "I'm actually sick of avocados" was uttered - which blew my fucking mind - because nobody likes avocados more than myself and my wife than Cristina.

SO - she promised to send me a big huge box of the biggest, largest, softest most awesomist avocados I had ever laid eyes on.

I promptly forgot entirely about this conversation, and went about my business.

Fast forward a little while...

We checked out our P.O. Box the other day, and it had a little slip that said "you've got a package." Wondering who in the hell would send us a package, we anxiously stood in line, and the teller handed us a rather sizable box.

Back in the car now - I'm driving towards the marina, and Wifey is sitting next to me, having trouble opening the box. I hand her a leatherman, and keep 1 and a half eyes on the box, and half an eye on the road.

The box opens...

And the look on Wifey's face is absolutely the funniest/sickest thing i've ever seen in all my days. She's making a sound like a morbidly obese man taking a constipated shit - and her face is all shriveled up like she's been sucking a pound of lemons!

NOW i'm REALLY curious... and almost run right off the road.

So, I pull into the marina parking lot, and finally get to have a look in the box.

It's filled to the brim with a brown/green liquid-like newsprinty sort of substance.

And it smells. BAD.

And then it hits me - this box, at one time, contained avocados wrapped in newspaper.

DAMN!

Well Cristina - I never did get to taste them, but they looked like they might have been really big and tasty at one point.

Sad, eh? :(

But we really did appreciate the thought - and the look on Wifey's face is something I'll never forget!

Until next time,
Mahalo.
-D