I'm so tired of posting this depressing shit already.
Not gonna do it anymore.
Can't say my mood has improved much, but at least I'm to a point where I can hide it again.
It's been a survival tool of mine for years, and has proved useful on far too many occasions. The hurt I have dealt with over the last couple of months has been worse than anything I've had to deal with before, and that is saying a lot, considering my past.
I will make it through it though...I always do. So moving on....
I bought batteries for my camera (finally *rolls eyes*), so now it is time to get back to it. Time to start my writing again, and dedicate just as much time to it as I used to. For those who have read my ramblings before, you know this is just my diary. I share a lot more than most would, but it's just me, as I don't have anything to hide really, never have. There are some parts of my life that I choose to keep private, but those are few. This blog will prove that point again shortly.
Honest to a fault, that would be me. Sometimes an advantage, has also been known to be detrimental. As is my life. I just go with it. Nothing better to do really hahaha
Going to hang out for the next couple of days with one of my buddies. When I'm not there, the animals miss me. Two dogs, three cats. They all adore me, it's like having pets of my own again without the actual responsibility. Gonna play with my camera tonight when I get there and get some pics posted of them in their awesomeness.
Cheers all. ;)
13 December 2010
03 December 2010
Yeah, I haven't been here. There is a reason.
Aside from the fact that I've been too busy with school, my thoughts have been way too dark and ugly for me to want to put them down for public consumption.
It's hard to talk sometimes when you don't like yourself anymore.
Even at my worst times, it was never difficult to get it out of my system.
Guess those times weren't as bad as I had thought. Not like these are.
One more class in the morning, and this quarter is complete. To be quite honest, I really couldn't care less. If it wasn't for the fact that I already have financial aid covering the bill for now, and I'm financially committed already, I wouldn't bother continuing. My heart just isn't in it anymore.
My heart is just not there anymore. Period.
Aside from the fact that I've been too busy with school, my thoughts have been way too dark and ugly for me to want to put them down for public consumption.
It's hard to talk sometimes when you don't like yourself anymore.
Even at my worst times, it was never difficult to get it out of my system.
Guess those times weren't as bad as I had thought. Not like these are.
One more class in the morning, and this quarter is complete. To be quite honest, I really couldn't care less. If it wasn't for the fact that I already have financial aid covering the bill for now, and I'm financially committed already, I wouldn't bother continuing. My heart just isn't in it anymore.
My heart is just not there anymore. Period.
09 November 2010
Kinda bored right now.
Just sitting here in class, helping my friends with their homework and surfing the web.
I don't have my computer here with me in Omaha, I left it back in California in my rush to move here for school. How I miss my hunk of plastic and wires. Sadly enough, I feel horribly disconnected without it. No gaming, no blogging on a regular basis. All my Internet activity is based on what I can do when I'm at school. I can only access Facebook from my phone, which kinda sucks. No stupid Facebook games to eat up time.
Leaves me far too much time to think, which is a bad thing, no doubt.
At least this week that is brought to a slight minimum, as I still have a ton of math homework to catch up on in the next week and a half. I have to pass that damn class with at least a B so it doesn't bring down my GPA, and because I refuse to take it again.
Wish me luck, be back soon...
Just sitting here in class, helping my friends with their homework and surfing the web.
I don't have my computer here with me in Omaha, I left it back in California in my rush to move here for school. How I miss my hunk of plastic and wires. Sadly enough, I feel horribly disconnected without it. No gaming, no blogging on a regular basis. All my Internet activity is based on what I can do when I'm at school. I can only access Facebook from my phone, which kinda sucks. No stupid Facebook games to eat up time.
Leaves me far too much time to think, which is a bad thing, no doubt.
At least this week that is brought to a slight minimum, as I still have a ton of math homework to catch up on in the next week and a half. I have to pass that damn class with at least a B so it doesn't bring down my GPA, and because I refuse to take it again.
Wish me luck, be back soon...
So I've decided to do this again.
Starting over.
Well...starting over...sort of?? I used to maintain my blog pretty faithfully, but over the last year or so I neglected it badly. To be honest, I didn't really have a whole lot that needed to be said.
Well, that has changed.
I guess it technically never really did, but as I was pretty happy with my life, blogging was something that just fell to the wayside.
Now that I'm not particularly happy...well, not at all really, I need to have this outlet again.
It's not that I'm outright miserable or anything, but definitely not happy.
I have school to occupy my time, plus work, but I do miss my writing, and I feel this is the perfect time to get back to it. Maybe it will help me get back a sense of myself. At the very least, I have my place to rant again. While it hurts somewhat to see some of what I wrote in the past, it's part of who I am, and keeps true to why I started writing in the first place.
I need to attempt to get at least a bit of myself back. Most of it is gone forever, but at least I still have my sense of humor. I'm still awesome at making people smile. Kinda like a clown, but far less obnoxious. Making other people happy makes me not hurt as much.
Odd, isn't it?
Starting over.
Well...starting over...sort of?? I used to maintain my blog pretty faithfully, but over the last year or so I neglected it badly. To be honest, I didn't really have a whole lot that needed to be said.
Well, that has changed.
I guess it technically never really did, but as I was pretty happy with my life, blogging was something that just fell to the wayside.
Now that I'm not particularly happy...well, not at all really, I need to have this outlet again.
It's not that I'm outright miserable or anything, but definitely not happy.
I have school to occupy my time, plus work, but I do miss my writing, and I feel this is the perfect time to get back to it. Maybe it will help me get back a sense of myself. At the very least, I have my place to rant again. While it hurts somewhat to see some of what I wrote in the past, it's part of who I am, and keeps true to why I started writing in the first place.
I need to attempt to get at least a bit of myself back. Most of it is gone forever, but at least I still have my sense of humor. I'm still awesome at making people smile. Kinda like a clown, but far less obnoxious. Making other people happy makes me not hurt as much.
Odd, isn't it?
16 September 2010
I wonder if you realize...
Only sometimes though.
Because honestly, I know you do. Just like I do. As you've said yourself a million times, "no one knows me as great as you do." There is a reason for that, a reason that needs no definition. That's how well we know each other.
I wonder if that is what scares you sometimes. Do you think that I'm not?
Of course I am. I don't really like being emotional about anybody or anything, you are the only exception to that. Just as I know it's mutual from your end.
Love like ours is so rare, I'm thankful everyday I wake up, knowing you are the one I feel that way about.
I suppose I still have enough of my "free-spirit" to be able to survive on my own if anything should ever happen to you. I just hope it doesn't come to that, as you are my dearest friend.
I honestly don't even know where I would be now if it wasn't for you. I almost fell back into that deep, dark hole before you pulled me out for the last time. I will fight for you to the end, there is not a thing that will ever make me give up on you, always remember that.
I love you, and I always will.
Because honestly, I know you do. Just like I do. As you've said yourself a million times, "no one knows me as great as you do." There is a reason for that, a reason that needs no definition. That's how well we know each other.
I wonder if that is what scares you sometimes. Do you think that I'm not?
Of course I am. I don't really like being emotional about anybody or anything, you are the only exception to that. Just as I know it's mutual from your end.
Love like ours is so rare, I'm thankful everyday I wake up, knowing you are the one I feel that way about.
I suppose I still have enough of my "free-spirit" to be able to survive on my own if anything should ever happen to you. I just hope it doesn't come to that, as you are my dearest friend.
I honestly don't even know where I would be now if it wasn't for you. I almost fell back into that deep, dark hole before you pulled me out for the last time. I will fight for you to the end, there is not a thing that will ever make me give up on you, always remember that.
I love you, and I always will.
So Comp I was, and will continue to be, a super easy class for me. Goodness knows, I love to write. Given the chance to just babble on in writing about things I like, things that annoy me, things I know lots about...
Who passes up the chance for that?
Besides, I need this class, as it is a prerequisite for pretty much every Criminal Justice class I have to take in the future. Plus, I'm all about getting my general education classes out of the way as soon as possible. Which is why I'm taking 4 classes this quarter, two of which are gen. ed. ....Comp I and Math I.
Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely DESPISE math?
Yeah, I know it's a necessary part of life, at least as far as basic math goes. That stuff I can do in my head. Be pretty sad if I couldn't, considering how much time I've spent working in the customer service industry. That being said, I see no reason whatsoever that I should have to take a college math course, in which things like Algebra, Calculus, and Trigonometry are involved. Knowing these things will NOT help me figure out who made the dead body, and things such as that. If I was going to be a scientist or a Math teacher, I could understand the need to know.
I am not planning on being either of those things.
I suppose you could put other careers in that list too. Architect, doctor (maybe?), I don't really know what else. All I know is my field does not require it. Stupid gen. ed. classes....
All I know is this fucking math class better not screw up my GPA, or I will be quite furious. -.-
I feel better now that I have complained about that. Now onto something else!!!
Quitting one of my 3 jobs. Soon. This weekend. Really, it's only like having two and a half, but technically, it's 3. The one I'm quitting is Domino's, which is the first job I got when I moved here to Omaha, but has without a doubt been the least productive. It started out okay, but due to a few factors, such as, no advertising prior to opening, lack of any managerial skills by the people running the place, things like that, business is nowhere near what it should be. Being as I'm not 16 anymore, and need to work at a job that gives me more that 2-5 hours a week, it's not worth my time. I spend more time and money traveling there than I actually get to work, so I'm done with it now. Especially since I got sent home after only 30 minutes yesterday.
Believe it or not, I have better things to do with my time.
Like sitting here at school, writing on my blog while I wait for my class to start. XD
Who passes up the chance for that?
Besides, I need this class, as it is a prerequisite for pretty much every Criminal Justice class I have to take in the future. Plus, I'm all about getting my general education classes out of the way as soon as possible. Which is why I'm taking 4 classes this quarter, two of which are gen. ed. ....Comp I and Math I.
Have I mentioned yet that I absolutely DESPISE math?
Yeah, I know it's a necessary part of life, at least as far as basic math goes. That stuff I can do in my head. Be pretty sad if I couldn't, considering how much time I've spent working in the customer service industry. That being said, I see no reason whatsoever that I should have to take a college math course, in which things like Algebra, Calculus, and Trigonometry are involved. Knowing these things will NOT help me figure out who made the dead body, and things such as that. If I was going to be a scientist or a Math teacher, I could understand the need to know.
I am not planning on being either of those things.
I suppose you could put other careers in that list too. Architect, doctor (maybe?), I don't really know what else. All I know is my field does not require it. Stupid gen. ed. classes....
All I know is this fucking math class better not screw up my GPA, or I will be quite furious. -.-
I feel better now that I have complained about that. Now onto something else!!!
Quitting one of my 3 jobs. Soon. This weekend. Really, it's only like having two and a half, but technically, it's 3. The one I'm quitting is Domino's, which is the first job I got when I moved here to Omaha, but has without a doubt been the least productive. It started out okay, but due to a few factors, such as, no advertising prior to opening, lack of any managerial skills by the people running the place, things like that, business is nowhere near what it should be. Being as I'm not 16 anymore, and need to work at a job that gives me more that 2-5 hours a week, it's not worth my time. I spend more time and money traveling there than I actually get to work, so I'm done with it now. Especially since I got sent home after only 30 minutes yesterday.
Believe it or not, I have better things to do with my time.
Like sitting here at school, writing on my blog while I wait for my class to start. XD
14 September 2010
Had my first class of the quarter last night. Transportation security. Interesting at least...so far. Apparently there is going to be a lot of writing involved, which doesn't bother me in the least. I don't mind the homework, it keeps me busy. Tonight's class is going to be the true test though.
Composition I.
I'm actually very much looking forward to this one, as I love to write. Some of that may be apparent here, but maybe not. Mainly because I don't have the chance to write as much as I used to, but I am really working on that. I will probably have a bit more time to do so now that I'm gonna be spending so much time on homework, I can sneak in some writing and such here.
I suppose we shall see, eh?
Composition I.
I'm actually very much looking forward to this one, as I love to write. Some of that may be apparent here, but maybe not. Mainly because I don't have the chance to write as much as I used to, but I am really working on that. I will probably have a bit more time to do so now that I'm gonna be spending so much time on homework, I can sneak in some writing and such here.
I suppose we shall see, eh?
13 September 2010
Back to school again...
Still just trying to kill some time right now.
Already been to work this morning for a while. Came to school early (don't start for another 45 minutes), to check on my grades and pick up my books (rockin' a 4.0 right now, thank you very much). Catching up on reading a few of the blogs I try and keep up with on a fairly regular basis (harder to keep up with some of them on my phone >.<), and trying not to fall asleep. Not because of the blogs, but from lack of real sleep.
Still sleeping on the air mattress for the time being. I have three jobs now, so once I get caught up and have a little extra money, I can actually start buying stuff for my apartment, so it looks like a normal lived-in place. Living on my own is spectacular, but it would be nice to have a few more things than a shitty air bed and some clothes in my place. That is a big reason I have added no pictures like I've been wanting to, although I am currently considering doing the before/after thing, think it might be slightly interesting.
Working three shitty part-time jobs has been what keeps me busy lately, which is fine for now, but I can't wait to go full time at the main one, so I can quit at least one of the other two I have now *cough* Domino's *cough*...hate that damn place, wish I would have never gotten hired there, though it did serve its purpose, albeit slightly, when I needed it to.
Yes, sleep is still overrated, though admittedly, I do enjoy doing it from time to time. Will be better when it's on my REAL bed, not the air one.
Still don't have my PC here yet, I really need to get my brother to go the house in Cali and get it sent out here, not having it is literally making me insane. Not only because I miss hanging out with some of my best pals and playin' GW, but because all my music is loaded onto that thing, and my MP3 player is dying for a change. Sad to say, but my life sort of revolves around that damn little box of technology. *sigh*
Well, only 35 minutes to go now, guess I should get ready to head for class, be back tomorrow for more updates on the exciting randomness that is my life. Hahahahahahaha.... >:) <------is my naughty face lol
Already been to work this morning for a while. Came to school early (don't start for another 45 minutes), to check on my grades and pick up my books (rockin' a 4.0 right now, thank you very much). Catching up on reading a few of the blogs I try and keep up with on a fairly regular basis (harder to keep up with some of them on my phone >.<), and trying not to fall asleep. Not because of the blogs, but from lack of real sleep.
Still sleeping on the air mattress for the time being. I have three jobs now, so once I get caught up and have a little extra money, I can actually start buying stuff for my apartment, so it looks like a normal lived-in place. Living on my own is spectacular, but it would be nice to have a few more things than a shitty air bed and some clothes in my place. That is a big reason I have added no pictures like I've been wanting to, although I am currently considering doing the before/after thing, think it might be slightly interesting.
Working three shitty part-time jobs has been what keeps me busy lately, which is fine for now, but I can't wait to go full time at the main one, so I can quit at least one of the other two I have now *cough* Domino's *cough*...hate that damn place, wish I would have never gotten hired there, though it did serve its purpose, albeit slightly, when I needed it to.
Yes, sleep is still overrated, though admittedly, I do enjoy doing it from time to time. Will be better when it's on my REAL bed, not the air one.
Still don't have my PC here yet, I really need to get my brother to go the house in Cali and get it sent out here, not having it is literally making me insane. Not only because I miss hanging out with some of my best pals and playin' GW, but because all my music is loaded onto that thing, and my MP3 player is dying for a change. Sad to say, but my life sort of revolves around that damn little box of technology. *sigh*
Well, only 35 minutes to go now, guess I should get ready to head for class, be back tomorrow for more updates on the exciting randomness that is my life. Hahahahahahaha.... >:) <------is my naughty face lol
23 August 2010
How many more times can I say.."damn, it's been forever!!" ??
I do have a valid excuse this time though. I swear!!
I've been one busy bunny rabbit...
I may have mentioned going to school, I KNOW I discussed my need to not live in California anymore. Well, I finally managed to make some of that stuff happen. It was all happened very quickly, which is part of the reason I haven't been writing like I've wanted to.
I went on a mini-vacation back in early June, going through California, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, and ending in Nebraska. It was not only a vacation that sent me on this trip, but checking out the possibility of starting school again finally. After speaking to the admittance people here, and financial aid, they informed me that if I could get back here to Omaha, they could have me starting school in the next quarter, which was a week and a half away. So after having a discussion with my father upon my return to California, he said he would help me financially by loaning me the money to get back out here and start school right away.
So here I am.
No longer (very happily) in California, my new area of residence is Omaha, Nebraska. I really like it here a lot. I could do without the constant humidity, but other than that, it's great!!! I'm back in a place where people are friendly, it's not completely overcrowded or unnecessarily expensive, and I'm back in school, which is the most important thing right now. School is fantastic, it's been a lot easier to fall back into it than I thought it would be, and I have the straight A's this quarter to prove it. Thanks to that, I get to take more classes next quarter, which will set me on track for early graduation, assuming I maintain my GPA (which I will). Why do I want to graduate early you may ask? That would be because I intend to join the Army right after graduation. Everyone was hoping I had given up on that, but man, are they in for a rude surprise. I live my life for no one but myself, and I look for no one's approval in the choices I make for myself. I have the support from the one I feel I need to have it from, and that's all that counts.
So for the most part, things are going pretty well, and very much looking up, especially considering where things were just a few months ago. They will continue, because I will accept nothing less, I'm just stubborn that way.
Now if I can just get my father to hurry the hell up and ship my computer out here for me, I can start writing daily again. For now it will still be a bit sporadic, as my only computer access is at school (I'm supposed to be finishing homework right now >.<), but I will be writing again, because I actually have motivation to do so, without too much whiny bullshit.
It is good to be back >:)
I've been one busy bunny rabbit...
I may have mentioned going to school, I KNOW I discussed my need to not live in California anymore. Well, I finally managed to make some of that stuff happen. It was all happened very quickly, which is part of the reason I haven't been writing like I've wanted to.
I went on a mini-vacation back in early June, going through California, Nevada, Utah, Colorado, and ending in Nebraska. It was not only a vacation that sent me on this trip, but checking out the possibility of starting school again finally. After speaking to the admittance people here, and financial aid, they informed me that if I could get back here to Omaha, they could have me starting school in the next quarter, which was a week and a half away. So after having a discussion with my father upon my return to California, he said he would help me financially by loaning me the money to get back out here and start school right away.
So here I am.
No longer (very happily) in California, my new area of residence is Omaha, Nebraska. I really like it here a lot. I could do without the constant humidity, but other than that, it's great!!! I'm back in a place where people are friendly, it's not completely overcrowded or unnecessarily expensive, and I'm back in school, which is the most important thing right now. School is fantastic, it's been a lot easier to fall back into it than I thought it would be, and I have the straight A's this quarter to prove it. Thanks to that, I get to take more classes next quarter, which will set me on track for early graduation, assuming I maintain my GPA (which I will). Why do I want to graduate early you may ask? That would be because I intend to join the Army right after graduation. Everyone was hoping I had given up on that, but man, are they in for a rude surprise. I live my life for no one but myself, and I look for no one's approval in the choices I make for myself. I have the support from the one I feel I need to have it from, and that's all that counts.
So for the most part, things are going pretty well, and very much looking up, especially considering where things were just a few months ago. They will continue, because I will accept nothing less, I'm just stubborn that way.
Now if I can just get my father to hurry the hell up and ship my computer out here for me, I can start writing daily again. For now it will still be a bit sporadic, as my only computer access is at school (I'm supposed to be finishing homework right now >.<), but I will be writing again, because I actually have motivation to do so, without too much whiny bullshit.
It is good to be back >:)
12 June 2010
Well, I went on vacation, and it was glorious!! The best thing about it is I managed to get myself checked into school, which I start in a week and a half. Another bonus is I FINALLY get to move out of California...YAY ME!!!! :D That of course couples with the fact that I get to quit working at McDonald's, which is the best thing ever as far as I'm concerned.
I am actually going to have a life again...what a concept.
I am actually going to have a life again...what a concept.
19 May 2010
Why can't it be vacation time yet? Probably because I want to go so very badly. I'm traveling to Washington in just a couple of days for my sister's wedding, which I'm extremely excited about. Not only because I get to see lots of family I haven't seen in a while, but because I will be going "home" for a few days.
Then back here to California, back to the hell that is my job...*sigh* What can I do though? No working = no money to move away from here. In two more weeks though, my real vacation starts. Granted, I have other things to be taken care of on said vacation, but mostly it will be very relaxing, which I'm glad about. Some free uninterrupted time is the bonus.
Almost makes me wish for a time machine or something. ;)
Then back here to California, back to the hell that is my job...*sigh* What can I do though? No working = no money to move away from here. In two more weeks though, my real vacation starts. Granted, I have other things to be taken care of on said vacation, but mostly it will be very relaxing, which I'm glad about. Some free uninterrupted time is the bonus.
Almost makes me wish for a time machine or something. ;)
10 May 2010
Soooooo busy....
It's all for a good cause though, which would be to help me move away from California...FINALLY!! I've talked about it often on this blog, over at least the last year and a half. I probably could have been gone by now if I had tried just a bit harder, but I tend to take on obligations that are not really mine to take, which always further delay me from leaving here.
That time is officially over.
I have (and will be doing again when I'm done writing this) been putting in many online applications over the last two days, and will be calling everyone I put applications in with within the next few days to make sure they were received. Also, since I wasn't able to turn them in myself, I want them to know just how serious I am about wanting to get hired. Hell, if I'm lucky, I may be able to get myself two jobs!!
Also have to return emails about making appointments to view apartments, something I haven't done in seemingly forever. I've been living what most would deem a "bohemian" lifestyle, but I quite enjoy it. It's been nice having good friends for roommates, having people who actually care about your well-being and such. I've been missing out on that the last four years I've been in California, even though I won't have roommates when I leave here. It's because I have a boyfriend, who like me appreciates our privacy, and the only way to maintain that is by not living with anyone else. It could change though, as I have a couple of friends who have talked about moving to where I am if they like it when they come to visit. They know and respect the fact that my privacy is a factor in this, so I'm not worried.
We are all quite over living in California.
Well, back to work on this, more news at it happens. XD
It's all for a good cause though, which would be to help me move away from California...FINALLY!! I've talked about it often on this blog, over at least the last year and a half. I probably could have been gone by now if I had tried just a bit harder, but I tend to take on obligations that are not really mine to take, which always further delay me from leaving here.
That time is officially over.
I have (and will be doing again when I'm done writing this) been putting in many online applications over the last two days, and will be calling everyone I put applications in with within the next few days to make sure they were received. Also, since I wasn't able to turn them in myself, I want them to know just how serious I am about wanting to get hired. Hell, if I'm lucky, I may be able to get myself two jobs!!
Also have to return emails about making appointments to view apartments, something I haven't done in seemingly forever. I've been living what most would deem a "bohemian" lifestyle, but I quite enjoy it. It's been nice having good friends for roommates, having people who actually care about your well-being and such. I've been missing out on that the last four years I've been in California, even though I won't have roommates when I leave here. It's because I have a boyfriend, who like me appreciates our privacy, and the only way to maintain that is by not living with anyone else. It could change though, as I have a couple of friends who have talked about moving to where I am if they like it when they come to visit. They know and respect the fact that my privacy is a factor in this, so I'm not worried.
We are all quite over living in California.
Well, back to work on this, more news at it happens. XD
09 May 2010
Fuck sakes, it's been a long damn time since I was here last...*sighs* -.-
Oh well I guess.
I'm in one of my "music" moods, which is why I'm here posting now, but it's been a while, and I enjoy sharing what I listen to, so here goes...
Pepper Sands, one of many indie Canadian bands I love, and one I've gone out of my way to see many times, they are great live.
I absolutely love this band, and was extremely disappointed when they broke up in 2007. Dammit lol Still listen to what I have quite often though, seen them live a couple of times (shoulda been three -.-), and they were one of the most FUN bands I've seen.
Just to clear it up real quick, and to save time...this music posting is STRICTLY some of my favorite Canadian music ;)
NEXT!!!
Ahhh, Three Days Grace, so fucking awesome. Saw them play once, about two weeks before the first album. Fantastic live band, definitely need to see them if you get the chance, their live show is what made me a fan.
The same night I saw them play, they were opening for this band...
Theory of a Deadman...best thing about Nickleback was it got me this band XD
Yes, I have attitude about Nickleback...I won't deny I do have a couple of their albums, figured I only needed that many, as they all basically sound exactly the same. However, they do not rate a video posting. So there. On we go.
Sam Roberts, I really like his music, and he reminds me of my friend Jordan. Hmmmm...maybe I should be more specific, as I have several friends that share that particular name. Jordan Oliver is the one I speak of. Anyone who reads this, and who is on my Facebook will see his picture, and he looks just like this guy XD Anyway, moving on..
HAHAHAHAHAHA, I love this damn song. Yes, I've also seen this band live, during the first of 4 straight days of concerts up in Vancouver. VERY loud, almost to the point of makin' ya physically sick...almost >:D
They got a lot better when they grew up, but I will be the first to admit...they always were a good band, they just got a LOT better later lol
She is without a doubt my favorite female musician, I think she has an absolutely amazing voice, and her songs are great.
Of course, the only way I can end this is with my favorite musician EVER, who everyone knows is Canadian based, because I never shut up about it. XD
Matthew Good...the most awesome of all :D
Oh well I guess.
I'm in one of my "music" moods, which is why I'm here posting now, but it's been a while, and I enjoy sharing what I listen to, so here goes...
Pepper Sands, one of many indie Canadian bands I love, and one I've gone out of my way to see many times, they are great live.
I absolutely love this band, and was extremely disappointed when they broke up in 2007. Dammit lol Still listen to what I have quite often though, seen them live a couple of times (shoulda been three -.-), and they were one of the most FUN bands I've seen.
Just to clear it up real quick, and to save time...this music posting is STRICTLY some of my favorite Canadian music ;)
NEXT!!!
Ahhh, Three Days Grace, so fucking awesome. Saw them play once, about two weeks before the first album. Fantastic live band, definitely need to see them if you get the chance, their live show is what made me a fan.
The same night I saw them play, they were opening for this band...
Theory of a Deadman...best thing about Nickleback was it got me this band XD
Yes, I have attitude about Nickleback...I won't deny I do have a couple of their albums, figured I only needed that many, as they all basically sound exactly the same. However, they do not rate a video posting. So there. On we go.
Sam Roberts, I really like his music, and he reminds me of my friend Jordan. Hmmmm...maybe I should be more specific, as I have several friends that share that particular name. Jordan Oliver is the one I speak of. Anyone who reads this, and who is on my Facebook will see his picture, and he looks just like this guy XD Anyway, moving on..
HAHAHAHAHAHA, I love this damn song. Yes, I've also seen this band live, during the first of 4 straight days of concerts up in Vancouver. VERY loud, almost to the point of makin' ya physically sick...almost >:D
They got a lot better when they grew up, but I will be the first to admit...they always were a good band, they just got a LOT better later lol
She is without a doubt my favorite female musician, I think she has an absolutely amazing voice, and her songs are great.
Of course, the only way I can end this is with my favorite musician EVER, who everyone knows is Canadian based, because I never shut up about it. XD
Matthew Good...the most awesome of all :D
12 March 2010
Can you believe it??
I actually got shit done!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I got my music posted, my 80's playlist I put together after watching "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" for like the billionth damn time. What can I say, I think that movie is hilarious, I love it. Not that I would go to my high school reunion, zero interest in that. The few people I was friends with in high school...well, I am still friends/in contact with them.
I transferred what was left of my original blog to this one. THANK YOU Blogger for giving me the option of export/import, something that wasn't there when I did my first transfer of posts. *sigh*. It's okay though, instead of taking a month this time, it took like 5 minutes. A bit of editing needs to be done, but only because some of the videos I posted in the past are no longer there, but I either found new links or replaced the videos, have not deleted anything else, and don't intend to.
I've spent the last few hours reading a lot of my past writings, and I must say, it has very much inspired me to really start at this again. So more editing and adding tomorrow, I must try to nap, have work in the morning. As I have had a job change since I originally started writing, I should probably point out the fact I'm no longer at the P.H., now I work at the "clown house", a.k.a., McDonald's. Friday...Filet-o-Fish Friday to be precise. The day people come in and order $1.29 fish sandwiches, $1.00 McChickens, and an assload of Chicken McNuggets. Lots of people (in Garden Grove at the very least) are under the impression the fact they are not eating meat on Fridays is going to save them from hell.
Don't YOU wish it was that easy? ;)
I actually got shit done!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I got my music posted, my 80's playlist I put together after watching "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" for like the billionth damn time. What can I say, I think that movie is hilarious, I love it. Not that I would go to my high school reunion, zero interest in that. The few people I was friends with in high school...well, I am still friends/in contact with them.
I transferred what was left of my original blog to this one. THANK YOU Blogger for giving me the option of export/import, something that wasn't there when I did my first transfer of posts. *sigh*. It's okay though, instead of taking a month this time, it took like 5 minutes. A bit of editing needs to be done, but only because some of the videos I posted in the past are no longer there, but I either found new links or replaced the videos, have not deleted anything else, and don't intend to.
I've spent the last few hours reading a lot of my past writings, and I must say, it has very much inspired me to really start at this again. So more editing and adding tomorrow, I must try to nap, have work in the morning. As I have had a job change since I originally started writing, I should probably point out the fact I'm no longer at the P.H., now I work at the "clown house", a.k.a., McDonald's. Friday...Filet-o-Fish Friday to be precise. The day people come in and order $1.29 fish sandwiches, $1.00 McChickens, and an assload of Chicken McNuggets. Lots of people (in Garden Grove at the very least) are under the impression the fact they are not eating meat on Fridays is going to save them from hell.
Don't YOU wish it was that easy? ;)
11 March 2010
Ooooohhh, it's been a long couple of days already. I'm fucking tired.
Can't go to sleep yet though, or it will throw my sleep schedule completely off, considering its something I rarely do to begin with. Besides, it's not like there isn't plenty to keep me busy. Writing this for example. Like anyone but me cares. ;) I will be adding music in a couple of hours, as well as FINALLY transferring my old blog over to this one. The second and the last time I will be doing that. Just to prove that I really used to do this on a fairly regular basis. There are some posts that have gone bye-bye, but it's not like those posts are any great loss. The ones that I actually liked are still around. Keep in mind, I'm not one for editing myself, but in certain cases, it was just a necessity. I won't be doing that here though. If I wrote it, its because thats what I was feeling at that moment, right or wrong.
My blog...live with it. :)
Can't go to sleep yet though, or it will throw my sleep schedule completely off, considering its something I rarely do to begin with. Besides, it's not like there isn't plenty to keep me busy. Writing this for example. Like anyone but me cares. ;) I will be adding music in a couple of hours, as well as FINALLY transferring my old blog over to this one. The second and the last time I will be doing that. Just to prove that I really used to do this on a fairly regular basis. There are some posts that have gone bye-bye, but it's not like those posts are any great loss. The ones that I actually liked are still around. Keep in mind, I'm not one for editing myself, but in certain cases, it was just a necessity. I won't be doing that here though. If I wrote it, its because thats what I was feeling at that moment, right or wrong.
My blog...live with it. :)
09 March 2010
So busy lately.
Not complaining, it's actually a good thing.
Busy means time goes by faster, things you are looking forward to are finally coming around, things like that. Trip for next month is all set, appointment set for school, appointments set to view apartments, etc. Hopefully check out a few places of employment while I'm there as well. Then another trip in May, for my sister's wedding, then back home to work for a couple months straight so I can move away from here finally. Moving will happen even if school does not. I've decided if I can't afford school quite yet, then my last option will again become my first (yay to me, most of my friends will NOT be pleased), and I'm more than okay with that. All I know is I will not continue to work like as hard as I do, for basically nothing. I have a future planned, and it won't come to fruition if I continue to work the places I usually do.
Tired of my friends telling me "you are too smart to be working at that shithole..".
You think I don't know that for fucks' sake?
I'm working on it, alright?
Not complaining, it's actually a good thing.
Busy means time goes by faster, things you are looking forward to are finally coming around, things like that. Trip for next month is all set, appointment set for school, appointments set to view apartments, etc. Hopefully check out a few places of employment while I'm there as well. Then another trip in May, for my sister's wedding, then back home to work for a couple months straight so I can move away from here finally. Moving will happen even if school does not. I've decided if I can't afford school quite yet, then my last option will again become my first (yay to me, most of my friends will NOT be pleased), and I'm more than okay with that. All I know is I will not continue to work like as hard as I do, for basically nothing. I have a future planned, and it won't come to fruition if I continue to work the places I usually do.
Tired of my friends telling me "you are too smart to be working at that shithole..".
You think I don't know that for fucks' sake?
I'm working on it, alright?
05 March 2010
04 March 2010
Damn I feel like a lazy bum.
Not in general, just in the upkeep of this blog. I used to be really great about it originally, but since I had a psycho stalker for a while, and had to shut my first blog down, restart, move things, etc....
Well, suffice it to say I've been a bit lacking in keeping up as well as I'd like. *sigh*
I'm sooooo tired right now. Lots of working lately (yet still not quite enough, sadly) and preparations for traveling, moving, school.......
It'll all be worth it in the end. ;)
Preparing to wander into my new life, which will make me *M.I.A* for at least the first couple of years....
I'm actually very excited. ^^
Well, off to an early bed time once again, preparing for the hell that is my life at the moment, Filet-O-Fish Friday at McD's. People are funny.
In my opinion, God's last concern in your life practice is whether you eat meat on a Friday between Lent and Easter. Shoving FoF, chicken nuggets and chicken sandwiches does not guarantee your salvation. Just like an hour of church on Sunday will not make up for 6 days and 23 hours a week of bad behavior.
Is it really that difficult to just TRY to be a good person?
Apparently it is, or I wouldn't be making 200 fish sandwiches an hour on Fridays. XD
10 January 2010
9 days in to the new year, and I'm so busy with a multitude of crap, I don't even have any time for myself right now. Part of the reason I'm so busy is because I'm trying to prepare for my vacation in a few months, which as previously stated, includes a wedding. I'm also *actually* searching for a new place to live, the longer I stay here in California, in this house...
...the stronger the feeling it is making me more than slightly insane.
Never in a million years did I think this place I once loved so much would become the bane of my existence.
It has.
I want my life back.
The life when I was away from the people who are *technically* my family. The people I went out of my way to avoid for the most part over the span of a decade and a half. The people who are a blatant reminder of the fact that blood is NOT always the tie that binds. The life I had when I answered to no one but myself. When every decision I made was based on MY life, and MY future, when I was responsible for no one but myself.
I've spent a great deal of my life taking care of most others around me. Most of it was a loving necessity, something I would do over time and time again, no matter how many chances I was given to do differently. Taking care of the person I am now...let's just suffice it to say, if I knew how to say no, I wouldn't have spent the last 3 years wanting to hurl myself into oncoming traffic most of the time. Nothing like taking care of someone who has spent a lifetime NOT taking care of you. Someone who spends all their time blaming others for their *inability* to take care of themselves.
Just a side note...condoms are not expensive. If you aren't willing to put any effort into the consequences of your actions, you should seriously consider the investment. It's a lot cheaper than the financial/emotional care a child needs, then you won't have to use the fact that you have too many children with too many different women, and you don't want to work because you won't have any money left over for yourself.
I didn't ask to be born, neither did my brothers and sisters. Mom and dad sure did a bang up job of spreading it around, making me the oldest of 10 brothers and sisters, 7 of which are half, 1 adopted.
Nice, eh?
Everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, we all have to deal with it the best we can. I contend with it by keeping mostly to myself, by building a family of my own that consists of my closest friends, picked very discriminately by yours truly. By spending time with a boyfriend who I adore to pieces, and who I know actually loves me back. By surrounding myself with only those who do what they can (when I let them) to bring me up, and keep me there.
I have a friend who once referred to me as a *free spirit*. At the time I kinda laughed it off, but thinking about that in the years since she said it, I've come to realize how true that really is. My brain does not run on the same track as the rest of the world, and I can say I am very glad about that fact. If I have nothing else in the world, I know that I have one thing going for myself, something those I let get close to me have taken note of, something I remind them of when they seem slightly in awe at the way I think about life in general. This is what I tell them, and I have yet to have anyone disagree...
"You'll never meet another person in the world who is like me...not one."
...the stronger the feeling it is making me more than slightly insane.
Never in a million years did I think this place I once loved so much would become the bane of my existence.
It has.
I want my life back.
The life when I was away from the people who are *technically* my family. The people I went out of my way to avoid for the most part over the span of a decade and a half. The people who are a blatant reminder of the fact that blood is NOT always the tie that binds. The life I had when I answered to no one but myself. When every decision I made was based on MY life, and MY future, when I was responsible for no one but myself.
I've spent a great deal of my life taking care of most others around me. Most of it was a loving necessity, something I would do over time and time again, no matter how many chances I was given to do differently. Taking care of the person I am now...let's just suffice it to say, if I knew how to say no, I wouldn't have spent the last 3 years wanting to hurl myself into oncoming traffic most of the time. Nothing like taking care of someone who has spent a lifetime NOT taking care of you. Someone who spends all their time blaming others for their *inability* to take care of themselves.
Just a side note...condoms are not expensive. If you aren't willing to put any effort into the consequences of your actions, you should seriously consider the investment. It's a lot cheaper than the financial/emotional care a child needs, then you won't have to use the fact that you have too many children with too many different women, and you don't want to work because you won't have any money left over for yourself.
I didn't ask to be born, neither did my brothers and sisters. Mom and dad sure did a bang up job of spreading it around, making me the oldest of 10 brothers and sisters, 7 of which are half, 1 adopted.
Nice, eh?
Everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, we all have to deal with it the best we can. I contend with it by keeping mostly to myself, by building a family of my own that consists of my closest friends, picked very discriminately by yours truly. By spending time with a boyfriend who I adore to pieces, and who I know actually loves me back. By surrounding myself with only those who do what they can (when I let them) to bring me up, and keep me there.
I have a friend who once referred to me as a *free spirit*. At the time I kinda laughed it off, but thinking about that in the years since she said it, I've come to realize how true that really is. My brain does not run on the same track as the rest of the world, and I can say I am very glad about that fact. If I have nothing else in the world, I know that I have one thing going for myself, something those I let get close to me have taken note of, something I remind them of when they seem slightly in awe at the way I think about life in general. This is what I tell them, and I have yet to have anyone disagree...
"You'll never meet another person in the world who is like me...not one."
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