It's gonna be a long day today.

Yesterday was my baby sister's 4th wedding anniversary. Still can't believe it's been that long, but it has. It's not a difficult anniversary to forget.

Just like today is just as easy to not forget.

Four years ago today, I gave my heart to the one person I've ever truly and deeply loved. Even though he is not here by my side like I would like him to be, he is still the one and only who will ever have my heart and soul.

I could go on and on about how much he means to me and why, but there are not any real words to describe the love I have for him.

Love is not a word that should ever be used lightly, though it understandably takes most of us a while to figure out the difference between real love and what love is thought to be.

I hope that everyone and anyone who reads this will know even one second of the happiness I've had with him. If you do, then you will have known real, true love.

Even if you don't get to keep it, NEVER take for granted that kind of love. It may not last, it may not work out the way you want it to...that's right, you probably won't get the fairy tale.

If you are lucky enough to experience real love, appreciate it. So many more in the world will never know it, and that is heartbreaking because love is something everyone deserves.

Live your life like every day is your last, no hesitation, no regrets. Love like you might never again get the chance.

Cheers ;)

Think I finally figured it out...

I spend a lot of time alone. Make no mistake, it's by choice.

As I don't sleep much, I'm always looking for something to do in order to occupy the time I'm not at work or school.  Video games take up a good chunk of that time, but not all of it.

That's the reason I started this blog in the first place. Lately, I often sit and wonder why I have been having such a hard time getting back to my writing and maintenance of this blog. I used to spend a good amount of time working on it because it was so satisfying to me as well as therapeutic. About a week ago, out of nowhere, it finally hit me. 

I didn't think about it...I just DID it. 

Whatever thoughts jumped into my head, whatever I was feeling, I would just log on, blurt it out here, and move on. It wasn't ever any real effort, it all came naturally. 

I didn't treat it like WORK, which is where my mind has been with it. A few weeks back I filtered back through some of my old postings, looking for a particular picture. During that time, I noticed the differences between when I started, the mid-point when I really hit my stride, then the last couple of years where I kind of fell off.  In an effort to kind of come back from the dead, so to speak, I did try to write now and again, but you can see the differences. I had to put far too much effort into some of those postings, just like I mentally edited them while I was writing, something else I never did before.

I hate fucking editing myself. Not doing it anymore. 

I've had the attitude for years that you have to take me for who and what I am. I live my life the way I choose, and I don't explain myself to anyone. So hopefully my writing will get decent again and I will get that satisfaction back that I so miss. 

Cheers! :)