Dear self...
I have missed you!! You have spent so much time away, I was beginning to think I would never see you again! You were so busy giving your time to others that you seemed to fade out of existence. In all honesty, you've been out of the loop for almost 4 years. Between the men in your life, family issues, school and just life, you seem to have gotten lost in the shuffle.
It's so good to see you back. :D
I've missed you horribly. The girl that loves her video games, movies, and most of all, her friends. The girl who loves to be outside just to marvel in the beauty of the world, who loves to live everyday as if it was her last.
I missed the girl who is thankful just to be alive.
You have spent so much time retreated into yourself that I was beginning to think I would lose you altogether. At times, I felt that you had already been lost to the ugly that is this world. I thought you had finally been defeated by those things and people that had always tried to bring you down.
It's good to see you still have the undying strength you have always had, the strength that has helped you survive all these many years.
You have been horribly missed, but again, I am glad to see you back. I know it is still going to take some time for you to get back to where you were before all this started, but I know you are still in there and one day soon, people will see the real you again.
Watch out world...I'm baaaaccckkkk ;)
Cheers!
08 February 2014
04 January 2014
Yup....caring is STILL for suckers...
They SAY it's love that makes the world go around.
You know what I have to say about it?
"Bullshit on that!!" Thank you Rosario Dawson for giving me that one.
I do care about people, I swear I do. It's the getting too close that always seems to be a problem. And no, I'm not just speaking on romantic relationships and shit, I mean in general. For example, there was a family that I let myself get close to when I moved back out here to Washington state. I worked with 2 of them and because of things we had in common, we got along really well. Spent a lot of time with them and when times got hard for them, I stepped up and did everything I could to help them. You know what that got me?
Shit on and in debt.
Yay me!!
It's amazing how much more mellow my life has been without them around. *shrugs* who knew? Guess I do now.
I loved them like family, but much like a lot of my own family, it was a waste of effort and emotion.
Not that relationships fare much better I suppose. I can't complain too much because the majority of my relationships have ended with my still being friends with my exes, which might seem stupid, but they were my friends long before I dated them, no reason that should change. Never disrespected them or was really disrespected, wasn't cheated on, etc. Just didn't work out, and smart people don't stay in relationships just to NOT be alone. If you do, you are just fucking stupid. Sorry, but it's true.
You and I are all worth more than that. Never forget it.
So now after a little while of being single, finally met someone that I've been seeing for the last couple of months. Problem is, he is going through kind of a rough patch right now, and who is suffering the brunt of that?
Who fucking else? It's like I'm a magnet for that shit.
Care about him enough to not give up on him, but that definitely doesn't make it suck any less.
Suppose I'm feeling a little melancholy because the holidays were once again shitty and it looks like my birthday next week is about to be shitty as well.
It is what it is, I'll work through it like everything else. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up on my writing again like I've been TRYING to do for the last year or so. It really does help, but sometimes there is SO much in my head I can't sit down and write what I want. Part of the problem is I'm once again putting too much thought into it, instead of just logging on randomly like I used to and just writing what's in my head. I have to remind myself I don't have to write everyday, or if I want, I can do it several times a day. If you backlog through all the crap I used to write little comedy pieces to make people laugh, posted music and videos, etc.
Really wanna get back to that.
Tryin'...
Cheers! :)
You know what I have to say about it?
"Bullshit on that!!" Thank you Rosario Dawson for giving me that one.
I do care about people, I swear I do. It's the getting too close that always seems to be a problem. And no, I'm not just speaking on romantic relationships and shit, I mean in general. For example, there was a family that I let myself get close to when I moved back out here to Washington state. I worked with 2 of them and because of things we had in common, we got along really well. Spent a lot of time with them and when times got hard for them, I stepped up and did everything I could to help them. You know what that got me?
Shit on and in debt.
Yay me!!
It's amazing how much more mellow my life has been without them around. *shrugs* who knew? Guess I do now.
I loved them like family, but much like a lot of my own family, it was a waste of effort and emotion.
Not that relationships fare much better I suppose. I can't complain too much because the majority of my relationships have ended with my still being friends with my exes, which might seem stupid, but they were my friends long before I dated them, no reason that should change. Never disrespected them or was really disrespected, wasn't cheated on, etc. Just didn't work out, and smart people don't stay in relationships just to NOT be alone. If you do, you are just fucking stupid. Sorry, but it's true.
You and I are all worth more than that. Never forget it.
So now after a little while of being single, finally met someone that I've been seeing for the last couple of months. Problem is, he is going through kind of a rough patch right now, and who is suffering the brunt of that?
Who fucking else? It's like I'm a magnet for that shit.
Care about him enough to not give up on him, but that definitely doesn't make it suck any less.
Suppose I'm feeling a little melancholy because the holidays were once again shitty and it looks like my birthday next week is about to be shitty as well.
It is what it is, I'll work through it like everything else. Hopefully I'll be able to pick up on my writing again like I've been TRYING to do for the last year or so. It really does help, but sometimes there is SO much in my head I can't sit down and write what I want. Part of the problem is I'm once again putting too much thought into it, instead of just logging on randomly like I used to and just writing what's in my head. I have to remind myself I don't have to write everyday, or if I want, I can do it several times a day. If you backlog through all the crap I used to write little comedy pieces to make people laugh, posted music and videos, etc.
Really wanna get back to that.
Tryin'...
Cheers! :)
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