For "Eh cue" :)

Sometimes, I wonder if maybe something is wrong with me...

...besides the obvious brain damage my friends know me for...lol

I have this 'thing', you see...

This thing that makes me give a shit more about the people that are important to me than about myself. Not that it bothers me, but it tends to bother others sometimes. Mostly because I let myself get fucked over in the process.

As is my life...

Like a friend I was having a conversation with today. I won't get into too many particulars, as it was a private conversation, and none of your business. Let's just suffice it to say that this particular friend is dealing with the issue of being in love for the first time. I spent a good deal of time trying to cheer them up, and just basically did my best to talk them through a bad day.

I hope I did okay.

None of us really knows when or where or IF it is ever gonna happen. Love, that is. Even if it does, it comes with no guarantee. Having a few years on my friend, I have dealt with this on a few different levels up to this point in my life. I regret none of it, but definitely identify with what they are dealing with right now.

Where as the other party in 'their' case has no clue as to the feelings held, the best thing I could really say to that was it can be a lot harder when they do know. Sometimes the other party can even go as far as abusing and taking advantage of the fact they know you feel that way about them.

I hope you never have to deal with that. I've been lucky in that myself, but I've seen other friends go through that, and it's very painful to watch.

For the majority of the human race, love is a big fat pain in the ass. I think I may have mentioned that once before, but I don't remember, and don't really feel like looking back to see.

If I knew then what I know now...would I take any of it back, regret or no?

Well, in all cases except one...yup, I sure would.

It's different for everyone, definitely. Most people don't think about it the same way I do, and shouldn't. I really don't trust people, and have no need to meet anybody new. Besides, I'm comfortable enough with myself to know that I would rather spend the rest of my time on earth alone than settle for someone I didn't really love just to not be by myself...

...bullshit on that.

For better or worse Cookie, it's gonna work out the way it is meant to. As much as I know it hurts now, it's just gonna make you stronger, no matter what the outcome.

So smile, damn you, so I don't have to tackle YOU... :)