What a fucking day I had today!!

Just got home from work like an hour ago, though it really should have been like 3 hours ago.  Two transformers in the area of my job blew up today, so the power was out for two hours.  Everything on both sides of the street, including the Towne Center was down for the count.  Oddly enough, I was the only one who worked on making sure the store was ready when the power came back on, which was a good thing, because we got NAILED when the lights came back on.  We had to turn away about 3 dozen people or so because we had to redo all our product and such.  When we finally did get up and running again, it was like a fucking circus.

P.S. by the way....some people have no home training. -.-

It's amazing to me how filthy people can be when they are out in public.

Due to this, I was at work an hour and a half longer than I should have been, since they left the damn dining room in shambles.  On the upside, people were cool about having to wait.  To them, it was better than the alternative, which was going to the McChord store.

Needless to say, they don't have the best service reputation and we get most of the business in the area of the military base, even though our stores are less than two miles apart.

So tired, so hungry...yet too lazy to get of my ass and remedy either of these situations.  It nice to just sit right now.

Have a ton of homework, 1 of my classes is finishing this Sunday, have to finish my 10 page paper and my final, which consists of 7 essay questions TOMORROW, as it's the last full day I will have uninterrupted to work on it.  Bleeehhhhh.....

Really need to get a hold of these online people so I can get my program changed.  More on that when it's actually done.

Hmmmm...cup o' soup sounds like a plan...and my customary glass of Coke that is always by my side.

Cheers!!

...a new year, with no real difference...

Yes, it's now 2013.

I've read thousands of books in my life so far, and to be honest, expected the world to be much different than it actually is right now.

Ah, the delusions you have when you are young.

When the new year begins, so many people make "resolutions", mainly with the best of intentions. Then there are the people who make said resolutions, because they feel it's required, knowing they have the intention of changing nothing.

I make resolutions, on New Year's Eve/Day, or ever.

I decide to do, then I do it.

Capricorn....what else needs to be said?

My life may not be ideal for most, but it works for me.  I know I'm a good person and the people that actually really know me will tell you the same, guaranteed.  Can I be a bitch? Abso-fucking-lutely.  I have a very high bullshit tolerance, but if you shit on me and use and abuse my kindness long enough, I will turn on you so fast it will make your head spin right off your shoulders.  There is no coming back from that with me.  My inability to ever forgive would probably be considered a major downfall, but if you knew how far you could push me to get me there, you might not.

I've already made some major changes in the last few weeks of this new year, with more to come.  Back to blogging full-time this year, now that I have my work/homework schedule more organized.  After visiting with my brother a couple of weeks ago and finally meeting my niece Kiaren, I will be doing what I can to spend more time with her and my nephew, who should be here shortly. I have never and still don't apply the word "friend" to anyone lightly, so as always I will make sure those who are my friends know what they mean to me.  I will continue to care about and protect my BFFF, even from a distance, because he and his girls are very important to me.  He is happier than he has been since I've known him and I will DESTROY anyone who tries to take that from him.

I will continue to love until the end the one who knows he has my heart, because real love is rare. Like I told him years ago, if it's not him, it's not going to be anybody. Simple fact of life, or at least my life.

I will continue to love my life, to be as happy as I can, and enjoy this gift of being alive, something too many people take for granted if you ask me.

I plan on doing a lot of traveling the next few years, going places I've always wanted to see, going to as many concerts as I can fit it, and most importantly, getting reacquainted with Vancouver, still my favorite place on earth....Canada rules lol

To all my friends, old and new....live your life with no regrets, don't do the things you know you might, don't take for granted the gifts you are given, treat others as you are treated, don't let others bring you down, live your life in a way that will make you happy, it is yours and you never know when it's going to be over.

Live every day like it could be your last. :)

I wish I could make more time for this like I really, REALLY want to!!

Working on it.

Been spending all my time concentrating on a stupid job that honestly isn't worth my time and effort, but since it pays my rent, I suck it up and do it anyway. 

I've been doing better about keeping up with my homework this quarter, as letting my job take over my life helped me fail not one, but TWO classes last quarter.  That has never happened before and I'm not pleased to say the least. Dropped my GPA down to a 3.3.  I guess that's not really anything I should be crying about in general, but since I'm a highest honors graduate once already, not pleased at all. Yeah, I can bring it back up easy enough, but I still have to pay to take these damn classes again, so it sucks. Making up one of them already this quarter, but will have to make up the other next quarter.  Still need to talk to my adviser about switching majors, but I will do that at the beginning of the year. 

As for now, I will be on Xmas vacation in a couple of days, which will give me time to concentrate on nothing except the VERY few things in life that make me happy. Video games, music and writing, which is what I do here...kinda :p

So much work I want to do on this blog, so much I plan on doing, just gotta get through this weekend at work and I'm set. Talk to you all soon.

Cheers! :)

Been so busy lately it's been fairly ridiculous.

Just when I get ready to start writing full time again, get caught up with homework, work drama and just unrelated nonsense.

Should give me plenty to write about, eh?

It has, just got to remember to make the time to do it!!

Back soon enough...

Cheers!

A new day..

...with nothing new actually going on.

Got some stuff accomplished today though, which was good.  Just finishing up my laundry while I load all my music into my laptop. I have a TON of fucking music, so it is a very time consuming process to rip all my music off CD's onto the computer. Not difficult, literally just time consuming.

While this is going on, I'm also working on homework, dinner and room organization.  On my next day off, which is Thursday, I have to speak to the higher authorities (school peoples) about switching majors. Gotta get that done before I get any farther into this program.  We'll see what they say. Then I have to mail off my W-2 to the nice lady at H & R Block in Omaha who fixed an IRS screw up for me when she filed my taxes this year. I didn't have the W-2 available when she did it, which sucks, but now that I have it, once they send the paperwork in, that's almost $600 the government owes me that I will really be able to use when it gets here.

It will be outstanding, especially since it will get here about the time I'm getting my refund for next year.

Paying shit off will be awesome.

I plan on doing some more work on this later tonight in the midst of all my other multi-tasking, adding pics, music and such.  Also gotta see if I can salvage the videos I made at the 5FDP show back in May.

So much to do, good thing I barely sleep!! ;)

Cheers!

Back to basics...

Well, though I used this title on the 'new' blog I just shut down, I'm using it again here, a) because I can and b) because it's appropriate.

You will obviously see what I started out with, notice all the space where I did nothing but talk about how I was starting to write again and now round 3, where I actually am writing again.  I started the new blog because I was trying to hide and thought by making a new page it would fix things.

It didn't (I know, duh, right?).

It's okay though, I always figure these things out eventually.  Now I'm back, balls to the fucking wall and not giving a fuck.

That's just me. It has to be because the VERY few times in life I tried to care, it just ended up fucking up my life more.

Life is too short, I don't have time for the bullshit.

Living life for me and me alone, don't give a damn who likes it or not. Luckily, I have the world's greatest friends, at least a few good family members left, the most awesome BFFF in the world and all these people make the best support system imaginable.

So I decided to come back to where it all started. To my original blog, which shows the different stages and emotions an ordinary girl from everywhere and nowhere has been through over the last five years.

The next phase starts with me switching majors in school and beginning a new world of possibilities for myself.  A world where I won't have to edit my behavior and who I am like I was expected to do going into the field of criminal justice.  Past wrongs that were done to me should not be able to keep me from doing what I can to help people, but it seems that once again my past is rearing its ugly head and fucking things up for me.

So I now do what I always do.

Suck it up, change direction and move the fuck on.

Welcome to the ride, buckle up motherfuckers!

Cheers! >:-)

Love is supposed to be a wonderful thing, right?

Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Sometimes, to prove how much you love something or someone, you have to let it go...

...figuratively speaking that is.

See, the deal is, for a lot of us, love is not what we thought it was going to be.

For some, like my grandparents and even friends of mine, it happens right away.  You meet the person that was intended for you, the bond is immediate and nothing can separate two people whose hearts were meant for each other.

On the other side of the coin, you eventually meet the person you were intended for, but sometimes the bond you thought would always keep you together is broken.  It may not have even been the fault of either party, but outside interference, unfortunate circumstance or what have you.

That is when you figure out what true love really is.

When every waking thought is about that other person, when your only real concern is whether or not they are okay, when you hear their voice or see their face and it just brings on that rush of emotion, you know.

When you would give everything of yourself  to ensure the happiness of that person, no matter the consequence to yourself, you know.

When they are the first thought in your head when you wake up and the last before you go to bed, even when you haven't seen or spoken to them for an extended period of time, it doesn't matter.

When you would rather spend the rest of your life alone because you know you could not live the lie of pretending to love someone else, knowing that one person owns all the love in your heart that you have to give....

...that is what real love is.

It has nothing to do with sex, money, what they can give you, what they can do for you.  It's about being friends, being able to have a conversation with them, knowing they will always be there to listen, giving them 110% of your trust because you know they won't betray you and a million other things I can't even begin to explain.

All I'm saying is that if you ever get the chance to TRULY have that kind of love in your life, don't ever let it go.  Even if it doesn't work out, it doesn't mean you should run out and betray your own heart to just not be alone.  Live by your own beliefs about what love is to you and never give up on that.  It's one of the biggest parts of what makes us who we are.

Never betray yourself for a lie.  Never base the thought of "love" on what you see on television or movies, you have to be grown up enough to know this examples are not real life.  Hopefully you are all smarter than that.

If anyone needed proof that I'm totally a girl (albeit still a tomboy haha), I think this is it.

Sooo fucking tired. >.<

The ONE time I actually wanna sleep (only because I'm sick!!) and I have to wait up so I can get a ride to get my errands taken care of.

Balls.

I just wanna sleep the rest of the day away since I already lost my day off for this week.  I have nothing to look forward to except a shitty weekend of not only being short-handed, but having to train yet another influx of noobs that I am 99.9% sure won't even make it 30 days.  Which means I will be training again by the time I'm done with the ones who actually make it through.

Believe me, training with me is no joke.

You know how many of the people who have been at this restaurant for a while don't like me simply because they feel I make them look bad? I'm sorry my daddy gave me a work ethic and yours didn't, but I fail to see how your laziness is my issue.  I also fail to see why these new kids should be taught your bad habits when I can teach them the right way.

The first thing I learned when I started working (from my dad) was that it doesn't matter if you are getting paid $5.00 an hour or $500.00 an hour, you still put forward your best effort.  Otherwise, stop taking the space from someone who is willing to give their all to the job in order to get their money.

I personally love the fact that I know my not being there would have a severely negative impact because I do my best every minute of every day I'm at work, no matter how I'm feeling, emotionally or physically.  I'm proud of the fact that I'm highly counted upon to get shit done.

Even if my job isn't the best, I still take a lot of pride in a job well done, because I know I did my best.

What can I say, my dad is awesome :D

So hopefully I can get a few hours of sleep because goodness knows I really fucking need it.

I also have a letter to write to one of my fellow Knuckleheads (hehe), which I will get out in the mail tomorrow.  Gotta actually go out to the post office and buy some damn stamps!! I don't even remember the last time I did that.

It's gonna be awesome.

Killing time right now, still got like an hour to wait.  Need to find my flash drive that has my other blog loaded onto it so I can merge it with this one, but too lazy and unmotivated right now.  Hell, I'm just writing this to try and stay awake.

When I get home from work tonight, I am passing the fuck out.  I have to because I have to stay up Saturday night after work to try and get this damn homework caught up.  So far behind now it's ridiculous and I'm running out of time to get caught up.  Can't let my GPA go down, completely unacceptable.

Better make a list of my assignments, it will be easier for me to study and shit while I'm at work that way.  Any of my friends from school can tell you I'm the queen of making deadlines and pulling out perfect grades.

They will tell you because they hate me for it. >:)

Cheers!!

So...

I joined this group on FB last week (since I live there and all) called "Knuckleheads 4 Life" and it has been a surprising pleasant experience.  For those who have known me long enough and know how reclusive and anti-social I normally am, they might be shocked I was having anything to do with something like that.

I know most won't understand the 'knucklehead' reference, so let me explain real quick like. It's basically a group of literally the most hard-core Five Finger Death Punch fans in existence.  People are very open and friendly there and treat each other like family, through good and bad.  I've seen members helping out other members just by listening, some give advice, but mostly it's just someplace to have fun.

And we do.

There is talk of doing a pen pal type deal, an idea that I'm honestly into.  Kinda get back to talking to people on a more personal level.  Getting mail (that isn't bills) is awesome!!  Someone even mentioned sending postcards, so the people we wrote to would have pictures of the places other members were from.  I think if I start writing people I will send along actual photographs, just because it's more personal that way.

Should make for some interesting communication, eh?

I REALLY need to get some fucking homework done, but there won't be any of that tonight.  I'm so far behind right now it's getting ridiculous.  Work has been monopolizing so much of my time I can barely see straight.

AND I picked up an extra 12 hour shift tomorrow on top of that....yay me...

In case you didn't pick that up....sarcasm...

So since I'm getting close to the deadline on one of my classes (only 2 1/2 weeks to go >.<), looks like there will be no sleep this weekend, but that's really nothing new.  Just means it will be homework time instead of movie/gaming time.

Fuck...

I haven't even barely been able to play my damn game because of my current workload, which pisses me off more than anyone knows.  I LOVE my game and miss my gaming family more than you can imagine.  They have been a monumental part of my life for almost 5 years now and not spending time with them hurts.

Blehhhh...

That's life I guess, so I try not to complain too much.  It'll all balance out soon enough.  Especially if I don't sleep this weekend and get all my homework caught up.  Maybe I will get an day off sometime this weekend since working tomorrow is going to give me like 10 hours of overtime, and goodness gracious, they HATE paying any of us overtime.  It's mostly me that gets it, since I'm literally one of only two people who is ever willing to cover a shift.

So I decided to add my previous blog onto this one, should be done in the next day or so.  I wasn't going to (for reasons mentioned previously) but decided I should since I have a strict rule about never editing myself.  Would be kind of hypocritical to keep the old blog hidden, eh?

Well, off to finish dinner and then nap time, gotta be at work at 3pm tomorrow.  Yeah, I know that's late as hell for most of you but for me it's early as fucking hell.

Cheers!!