Oh Brandon........

So this is part of what I have decided has to become a regular series.....

Welcome one and all to my new series entitled "Oh Brandon"

So here goes.

Today was my one day at the intolerably slow restaurant, so my day was pretty much fucked from the start. I got there at 9am, did my opening stuff, then sat and waited for something, anything to happen.

I wished too hard.

10:30am, the phone FINALLY rings....

It's Renee (the manager of that store).

"I have a question......"

"What?"

"Don't you hate when sentences start that way.....?"

"Yes.......what......?"

"So I was wondering (enter the sound of me very audibly sighing) if I called Ronald (her closing manager) and had him come in early, if you could go to your store and finish Brandon's shift....."

"Why?"

"He has a toothache, and he says he needs to go home"

*sigh*

"Yes, of course I will"

Hang up the phone, proceed to vent to driver about what a TOOL Brandon is.

"I'm glad he doesn't work here"

"Ya, you should be"

Pace around.....wait......

2:00pm - back at my store.

Brandon - "Thank you so much for doing this, my tooth hurts so bad that this morning I was almost crying, and I....(this is where I tuned out, as the sound of his voice usually gives me a headache)".

"Okay"

"The guy working on the dishwasher....." (more tuning out, faster to ask the repairman)

"Okay...."

"Blah, blah, blah......"

"OKAY!!!"

Susie, to Brandon "I thought you were going home?"

"Oh yeah, I'm going right now"

Finally gone.....chat with the girls about what a girly Brandon is, then back to work.

The story does not end here....

4pm. Kenny!!!!

"Where's Brandon?"

"He had to go home and go to bed because he has a really bad toothache." (I wish I could even begin to explain how sarcastically that sentence came out)

"You can't sleep with a toothache!?!"

Pause for the sarcastic face....

"I know that....just like I know he went home to play Guitar Hero 3....fucker."

"No he didn't"

"???"

"Call of Duty 4 came out yesterday. He bought it last night......"

The long stream of expletives that came from my mouth was something to behold. It started with "that motherfucker....." and was all downhill from there. Keep in mind, this is the same guy that fucked us on a busy weekend because he had to stay home and play Pokemon:Diamond.
Seriously.

Oh Brandon......

I will leave you with this joke Susie sent my phone, which I got shortly after my swearfest.

If a bitch with big tits works at Hooters....
Should a bitch with one leg work at IHOP??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!